


SANGUINE LOVINGS

by Portponky



Category: IAMX
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-14
Updated: 2012-10-14
Packaged: 2017-11-16 07:06:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/536812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Portponky/pseuds/Portponky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris Corner conquers another day using his poetic wiles and cunning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	SANGUINE LOVINGS

**Author's Note:**

> This is slightly messed up, just like Chris Corner's tortured soul, so general warning for all sorts of stuff.

Christopher Corner sat cold and alone surrounded by people he didn't know at the hottest night club in Berlin. He looked down at his beautiful boney hands and silently sobbed a single tear of nothing. As he tried really hard to furrow his brow and look deep and meaningful, who should walk in the door but Noel 'cumbaby' Fielding and all his bumchums. Christopher C. Corner let out a reverse sigh and cast his mind back to that morning.

It had been a regular morning in his studio apartment. Rising early from his slumber, he sat down and ate his usual bowl of nothing flakes with air instead of milk and then went out to do the same thing he did every morning: try to take over a child. He called it orphan relocation, others called it child catching or trapping or even such dirty, racist names as pedomincing. Dressing himself up comfortably in the best latex-leather camouflaged leggings, thong and blouse he could afford, he high-tailed it to the suburbs of outer Berlin. Finding a local playpark, he set up a rudimentary leg-hold trap and baited it with a dreidel and some kosher jelly beans and within only one hour a young boy of no more than five years of age was his for the taking. After he bundled the boy in to a rough yarn sack which he had embroidered with a magenta patch with black lettering reading “MICROSADNESS”, he rushed home as fast as his bus pass would take him.

At around eleven o'clock in the morning he returned to his flat, child in tow, and declared the day to be the single most successful day of his week. “IT IS'NT EASY BEING A VISONARY AND AN ACHEIVER” Corner thought to himself wistfully. He released the child in to the cupboard which had the tumble drier and the central heating boiler and started the relocation process.

“THIS IS YOUR SECRET ROOM. IT CAN BE OUR SECRET. DO'NT WORRY, WE WILL SHARE MANY THINGS AND IN TIME YOU WILL GROW TO LOVE ME ALMOST AS MUCH AS I LOVE ME,” he explained.

The child was panicking and crying madly, and covering his leg which was slightly damaged from the trap. Christopher tried to comfort the child by saying “I'TS OKAY, WE ARE ALL DAMAGED IN ONE WAY (OR ANOTHER!)”, but the child didn't seem to notice and also was beginning to lose consciousness due to aforementioned shock and panic. “WELL FUCK IT” thought Corner and decided to go out to get something to eat so that he could smell it and not eat it.

At two in the afternoon he returned with some chocolate pastries. He'd taken a long walk to decide whether to keep this child, nurse him back to health and care for him, or to just flush him and try to find a potentially more attractive child. He'd decided the best course would be to keep the child. Perhaps he would let the child smell the pastries before he binned them.

After he walked in and took off his high-heeled manshoes, his lady friend Dee greeted him with a lovely “Hey honey lol” and a hug which was a sight to behold; sort of like a pig crushing an empty soda can between its trotters. “Omg you won't guess what happened <3” she said.

“WHAT EVENT HAPPENED ON YOUR LIFE TODAY?” Chris C. Corner asked.

“Well I was going to dry some laundry and I found a dead shaved ferret in the cupboard so I sautéed it and had it for lunch!” Dee said bouncily, her waves of blubber wobbling back and forth, “Omg?”

Chris fell to his knees and cast an expression of agony and erotic malfunction across his ridiculously beautiful face. “WHY MUST YOU EAT SO FREQUENTLY? WHY?” he cried out in to the empty day.

Eight hours later he was sitting in the night club friskily rubbing vodka on to his gums so he could ingest the alcohol content without actually digesting anything. The god damn kid had been eaten by his walrus of a widow, and a widow she was as his heart was dead forever. The child had to have been at least a 6, maybe a 7. That was his best catch in months. He gazed across the dance floor to see Noel 'slutbucket' Fielding with a flock of teenage girls surrounding him. “HORRIDBLE” Chris thought. Even the average age of them is probably legal. As he sat on his stool, he clenched his eyelids as hard as he could and surmised that if he concentrated hard enough, he could make the entire room darker with the utterance of his soul.

“Hey, looking good” a voice said.

He looked up to see an indistinct man with beady eyes, a moustache and wearing out of date fashion. It was that Julian which hung around with Noel.

“YOU COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND MY PARADOX” Chris replied coldly, but secretly hoped that someone halfway popular had acknowledged his existence.

“Hey, easy now. No need to shout, these ears here aren't just for decoration” Julian smiled, tapping the side of his head.

“THIS IS JUST HOW I TALK. I TALK IN CAPS. I TOLD YOU YOU YOU COULD'NT UNDERSTAND ME” Chris 'Crunch' Corner replied, yearning for someone to try.

“Oh, I'm sorry. And by the way, it's spelled COULDN'T with the apostrophe between the N and the T. I don't mean to be a grammar nazi.”

Chris instantly felt a surge of pure pleasure, kind of like a female orgasm. It was like a bolt of lightning shot out of this man's mouth and landed right on Corner's crotch, only the lightning was made of sex. “YOU CAN BE ANY KIND OF NAZI YOU WANT”

“What? No, you've misunderstood. I'm not a nazi at all. I couldn't be further from one. It's a figure of speech.”

“PLEASE BE A NAZI. I WILL BE YOUR ETERNITY FRIEND.”

Julian started to look a little bit scared. “SHIT” thought Chris, this always happens. It's as if every single one of his hobbies and ideals are a taboo in modern culture. Suddenly Noel 'turdburgler' Fielding appeared. “Juju, I saw you were getting a bit freaked out by this goth catastrophe so I came to make sure you're okay.”

“WILL YOU STOP BOTHERING ME ABOUT CATOSTRAPHES. IL'L PLACE THEM WHEREVER I WA'NT TO.” Crunch Corner said before sobbing a little.

Noel 'the meat' Fielding piped up, “I know what you want, and it's in my pants so why don't you just suck on this” and then unbuttoned his hotpants to reveal his wangadoo. Chris was shocked at the thought of seeing the penis of a man who had passed the age of puberty, but as the wangadoo dangled in front of him he started to see something strange about it.

“YOU HAVE THE WANGADOO OF AN INFANT,” he said “WHICH IS DESRIABLE.”

He was right. It was without hair and quite soft and small. Chris thought of his own penis, and how it actually has a bone in it, and how the doctor explained that it's because he's really boney and nothing to do with boners. Perhaps he had misjudged the entire spectrum of sexual deviance. “I WILL PROCEED TO MAKE US ONE” he said as he gobbled up the pinkywanger and started sucking really quite hard.

Noel 'spreads' Fielding grinned a big toothy grin surrounded by a faulty five o'clock shadow that he'd been working on for the last two weeks. This was the good life, getting sucked off by Skeletor in a night club in Berlin. Chris was pretty decent at sucking off guys, almost as if he'd had a lot of practice at it. Julian shuffled off to a corner and did something else, as if anyone actually cares.

After a few minutes Noel grasped Chris by the head and began to ride him hard and fast. Chris put his back in to it and made sure not to chafe Noel's dinkydongler with his teeth because experience told him that it spoils the sensation a little. Noel tensed up and climaxed really hard and fast, right in Chris' mouth.

“WTF IS THIS?? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE” said Chris, confused. “WHAT IS THIS, YOGHURT? EGG WHITE? THIS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE”

Noel 'godflaps' Fielding said “It's baby-juice. It's very good for you, high in calories.”

“SHIT” said Chris 'Captain Crunch' Corner, spitting the spunk out on to the floor, “EATING IS CHEATING AND ALSO I LOVE YOU A LITTLE BIT”

“Ahh, I'm really sorry, I was just using you. I have a girlfriend.” said Noel, gesturing towards Sue whilst doing up his hotpants.

Dee suddenly pushed Chris out of the way and dived to the floor and started sucking up the spilled semen. Crunch tumbled to the side and sort of snapped a little bit “MY GOD I THINK YOUV'E BROKEN ME” he said, wincing in pain like a child in a trap.

Everyone looked round apart from Julian who at this point had entirely melted from reality. Everyone wanted to know if Captain Crunch was okay or not.

“BUT I'TS OKAY, WE'RE ALL A LITTLE BIT DAMAGED!” he chuckled over the snorting sound of Dee sucking the carpet dry of spunk plops. Everyone chuckled heartily at such a good joke.

Later that night Chris Corner died cold and alone in hospital.


End file.
